why you can't be a Christian, and not read the Word.

I have loved you even as my Father has loved me. Remain in my love. John 15:9.

Often, I feel far. Far from truth; far from clarity; far from freedom. Yet, my life remains the same.
Morning comes, I get up knowing I should spend 10 minutes in the Word, but I don't 'cause I know what it says. I go to work and know I should pray for my coworkers when they tell me how hard life is, but I don't 'cause I think that prayer is prayer; they don't need to know I'm praying for them for it to work. I come home and go for a run, working out my frustration at my day, forgetting to direct that frustration at Jesus, knowing he hears and will respond. I come home, neglect going to bible study, 'cause I've heard it all and I've started to believe that gathering together lacks enlightenment and depth.

Yet, my heart is in turmoil as I look at my place in this self-destructive world. Nothing feels relevant, or new. I drag my feet at the idea of spending time in the Word because I've spent years immersing myself in His word and I know it's in my heart and mind, so I don't need to read it any more. All that will do is waste time in my day when I could be 'being productive'.

Yet, even in all my complacency and hopelessness, I still belong to Jesus. But, I've lost my joy, because I've stopped looking into the face of my Saviour and I've let myself be grounded in my feelings.

I've forgotten.

I've forgotten that the bedrock to my faith is intimacy with Jesus. It's not about when or how or how long I read my Bible. It's not about how many people I encourage in God, or how many Church events I attend or serve at. It's not even about how often I pray or worship. It's about dedicating time to know him and allow Him to transform my heart, my inner being (Romans 12:1).
Intimate, real, open-ended t i m e.

To survive in this world, I need this t i m e to be immersed in what Jesus says about me, his world and himself. I long to be caressed by sweet certainty and strong words; real, unabashed hope. I need a daggar to cut through my junk and remind me of my first love. This is what the Bible is for; the Word is full of soothing, yet sharp truths that need to penetrate our hearts if we are to be anything more than ordinary followers, seeking only what fits with our culture. Why bother following Jesus if as soon as you face adversity, you falter?

"Let your roots grow down into Him, and let your lives be built on Him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness." Colossians 2:7. Surprise! It's a flow on affect. It's not a tick every box and hope for the best.

And so, my heart is wrong. It's stubborn, longing to be close to its Creator, without putting in the work; longing to be a solution in a wired world, without wanting to stand up too tall for anything controversial. I'm starting to see that without the Word, I lose what gives me clarity in a time that says everything is permissible. I lose my saltiness, my light. I lose my reason for living my life hand in hand with my Creator. It becomes a firefly I'm desperately trying to chase, but can't remember why. I become lost, confused and easily deceived.

To gain intimacy with Christ is to lose your own desires and see Him clearly. This is what happens when you're in the Word frequently; when you take walks or coffees or skates or runs with Him, getting to know Him like your bestie, learning His voice, recognising His nudges. This is what happens when you play the trump card and decide to commit regardless of your fleeting, deceptive emotions. "For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable." Hebrews 4:12-13.

This morning, I took 10 measly minutes to be in the Word, pushing aside my feelings. Whaddaya know, truth hit me square between the eyes: you can't be a Christian, and not be in the Word frequently. It's like being an athlete and never training; or, a writer and never writing; or, an artist and never making art. You will find Jesus amongst the pages of His living Word whether you've read it once or thousands of times. Seek and you will find, ask and you will receive, knock and the door will be opened to you (Luke 11:9-10).

This Christian stuff ain't about the actions, it's about the heart... "...for out of the abundance of his heart, his mouth speaks." Luke 6:45b.

"So I run with a purpose in every step, I do not box as one beating the air. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified." 1 Corinthians 9:26-27.

Be people of the Word; people of the Truth; people who know their purpose.

H x